The vegetables you love. Made entirely from animals.
Carnivert recreates the broccoli, beans and bananas of modern plant-forward eating using liver, pork neck, kidneys and other honest cuts. Same shapes. Same plates. Zero plants.
content
For a decade, plants have been pretending to be meat. We thought it was time to return the favour.
Back to the roots. The real ones were always on the bone.
Familiar shapes, honest substance
People grew fond of how vegetables look on a plate: the green tree of broccoli, the curve of a banana, the neat cube of tofu. We kept every bit of that. We just changed everything inside.
Nose to tail, root to tip
Liver, kidneys, hearts and brains are some of the most nutrient-dense foods there are, and most of them never reach a supermarket shelf. Shaped like a vegetable, they finally get eaten. Every product uses cuts that would otherwise be overlooked.
Closing the loop
Jackfruit spent years imitating pulled pork. Our Jackfruit is pulled pork. We see this as a quiet restoration of order, and as the logical end of the alternative-protein story.
No compromise on chewing
Our test panels found that 9 in 10 people who said they "eat more vegetables now" were mostly eating the idea of vegetables. We built a range around that finding.
Sixteen vegetables. Not one plant.
Compare it with the plant it replaces.
Pick a product and see how it measures up against the original vegetable. Values are per 100 g.
Four steps from the butcher's block to your crudités platter.
Source
We buy whole animals from farms within 150 km of our kitchen, then start with the cuts nobody else wants.
Sculpt
Each piece is pressed, piped or hand-carved into its vegetable form. A pineapple takes 14 minutes. A cauliflower takes no time at all.
Finish
Colour comes from searing, smoking and curing. Nothing green is ever involved, which is why our broccoli is deep oxblood.
Rest
Products rest for 24 hours so the shape sets. Then they are chilled, packed in compostable trays and shipped.
"The most confusing salad I have ever enjoyed."
"Carnivert has done to broccoli what broccoli spent ten years doing to steak."
"I peeled the banana. I regret nothing."
We asked shoppers to choose our name.
Before launch we tested four names with a consumer panel. The winner was the only one people could both pronounce and remember after a long lunch.
Carnivert consumer panel, n = 1,214, Hamburg · Leeds · Columbus, September 2026
Early tasters, real reactions.
"My kids finally eat their broccoli. I have not told them what it is, and I do not intend to."
"Ordered the Porkapple for a Hawaiian pizza. It is now a pizza with pork on pork. Ten out of ten."
"The Bone Oat Barista foams beautifully. My flat white tastes like a roast dinner, which I did not know I needed."
Frequently asked, patiently answered.
Is this vegan?
No.
Is it vegetarian?
Also no. It is the opposite of vegetarian, shaped like vegetarian.
Where is the fibre?
There isn't any. Our nutrition team describes fibre as "a plant's way of avoiding commitment".
Why would anyone want this?
For the same reason people buy plant-based burgers: they like the look and ritual of a food but want something else inside it. We simply apply the idea in the other direction.
Does the Porkapple taste sweet?
It is glazed with a little honey, so yes, gently. It is still a pork neck.
Can I put Brocco·Liver in a smoothie?
Technically yes. We would ask you not to film it.
Are your greens green?
Nothing in our range is green. We consider that the most honest thing about us.
When can I order?
The first boxes ship in spring 2027, to Germany, Austria, the UK and the Netherlands. Waitlist members get first access and a launch price.
Be first in line when the first harvest is slaughtered.
Join the waitlist and we will email you once ordering opens. No spam, no newsletters about kale.
- First access to the launch boxes before public sale
- 20% off your first box, locked in for life
- A free Bavanana bunch with every first order
Welcome to the butcher's garden.
We'll email you as soon as ordering opens. Until then, look at your vegetables with suspicion.